Is
Hell exothermic or endothermic?
The following is an actual question given
on
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is
compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of
Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls
are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist
in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls
go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are we
can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept
the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman
year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you." And take into account the fact that I still have
not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2
cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
will not freeze.
The student received the only "A"