| Well,
the speech is over. Let me be among the first to chime in with some thoughts - some of
which are profound, and some of which are rather flippant. If you didn't see the speech,
none of this will make sense. However, if you would like to see a good rant, stick
around for some political commentary that I cannot give in class.
1. This thing was too damn long. An hour and a half is way too long for the American
public - especially those of us with small bladders. There were (and these are
unofficial numbers) 126 pauses for applause, 86 proposed programs, and an amazing number
of bored faces in the chamber. Of the 86 programs proposed, 17 were called
"investments" (a code word for a big ass program that only one party will
support) instead. The best thing (for Clinton) about the length of the speech is that it
forced the Republican response out of prime time and well beyond the tolerance of most
Americans. Though market research may not back this up, I would assert that over 60% of
those that watched the speech were watching reruns of Friends, MASH, or the Showtime Grill
("Just set it - and forget it") infomercial.
2. I absolutely hate the "personal vignettes." This is vintage Clinton:
"Joe Blow has succeeded under our small business program. He embodies the future.
Stand up Joe!" (thunderous applause) This is annoying and overused, even when he
honors a good man like Lloyd Bentsen. If you asked me what I expected to see in the
speech, Hank Aaron's 715th home run would not have made the list.
3. Dennis Hastert and Al Gore could be seen on several occasions yucking it up behind the
president - WHILE HE WAS SPEAKING! What the hell is up with that?
4. The gaffe when Clinton credited Gore with making communities more "liberal"
instead of "livable" - one of the most hilarious moments in State of the Union
history. Clinton made a good joke by saying that Trent Lott would use it against him. Sad
thing is, it's probably true.
5. The GOP response with Susan Collins (ME) and Bill Frist (TN) was interesting. A teacher
and a doctor talk about education and health care, two traditionally Democratic issues
that Republicans must win in November. Lacking a public audience hurt them. Honestly, I
expected a commercial for Heartland Records to break out. By the way, how can a senator
from Tennessee give an entire speech without ending with "Go Titans"?
Republicans need to get their priorities straight.
6. Brit Hume's face is slowly sliding off of his skull. I'm not kidding.
7. Overall, an interesting night. Democrats took credit for promoting business, balancing
the budget, and paying on the debt. Republicans took credit for fixing health care and
providing a vision for education. I, for one, will now take credit for discovering the
female orgasm and discovering a useful way to put metal in the microwave. In addition, I
plan on renaming the Pythagorean Theorem in honor of Phil Jackson, who perfected the
triangle offense.
For those who missed the speech, there will be commentary out there that contains more of
the substance - and there was plenty of it. However, as always, I have given you all that
you really need.
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