According to NASA scientist Dr. John Flusher, intelligent life has been discovered elsewhere in our solar system. Dr. Flusher revealed to this reporter the heretofore secret discovery of life on the planet Neptune. Here is my interview with Dr. Flusher.
Misleader: Dr. Flusher, you contend that NASA discovered life on Neptune, correct?
Flusher: That is correct.
Misleader: When was this astounding discovery made?
Flusher: Last July.
Misleader: Last July? Why haven't we been informed of this momentous discovery before now?
Flusher: It was felt that the public would not fully understand nor comprehend the significance of this discovery. You see, NASA, as well as most of the rest of the government, feels that the American people are not terribly bright.
Misleader: And this is seen as a reason to keep the public in the dark?
Flusher: Well, it's worked for many years.
Misleader: What do you mean by that?
Flusher: Nothing, really. I just meant that there are many things the government doesn't tell us.
Misleader: Like what, for instance?
Flusher: Well...last year the Russians.....hey wait a minute. You're trying to trick me. It almost worked, but I'm too smart to be fooled by those silly reporter tricks. I have a Ph.D. you know.
Misleader: Okay, let's calm down. Life on Neptune; what's it like?
Flusher: I don't know if I want to continue this interview.
Misleader: Why not?
Flusher: You may try to trick me again. In spite of my obviously superior intellect, who knows when you might get lucky.
Misleader: You think I would try to trick you?
Flusher: I know you would.
Misleader: Why do you say that?
Flusher: You already tried once, remember?
Misleader: You're too smart for me. Okay, I promise not to try any tricks from here on. Can we continue?
Flusher: No. I don't trust you now. Goodbye.
At this point Dr. Flusher abruptly departed. He has since refused to speak with any member of the media. Is his story of life on Neptune true, or is he simply insane? Has Flusher flushed away his sanity with too many illegal drugs, or is there life on Neptune? Unnamed sources at NASA informed me that Flusher is on administrative leave. He is reportedly suffering from nervous exhaustion. Is this just a ruse by the government to throw us off the trail? This reporter will continue digging into this story until I find out the truth.
Misleader readers will be the first to know.